Tall Grass + Short Legs = Mad Dog

When it comes to Dachshunds, what we lack in height we make up for in length.  Unfortunately, I’ve yet to determine what advantages there may be, if any, to my long but short frame.

 

Certainly, one of the disadvantages is the inability to see over and around tall obstructions.  Take our lawn for example.  My man human is charged with keeping it freshly mowed (something he despises I might add).  Let’s just say it’s closing in on two weeks since he last got on his John Deere – or as I like to call it – the Mean Green Dachshund-Eating Machine!

 

I can’t stand it when he gets that thing out.  My mom human can stand at the door forever asking me if I want to go “potty,” but if I’m in ear shot of that monster, I ain’t budging.  On the other hand, one thing I hate just about as much is trotting outside unable to squat and do my thing without a dozen blades of grass trying to “tickle the ivories” if you know what I’m saying.

 

My daddy human has a friend I’ll call “Andy” (cause that’s what they call him).  He talks about how much he enjoys mowing his lawn and how he loves the alone time and the ability to just clear his head.  Not my dad.  He says the only things he thinks about is how he’s not if front of his TV screen or his computer monitor.  (He’s been on the computer a lot lately and staying up later than usual too.  It’s been two weeks since he’s gone to bed before me.  That makes it really hard for me to sneak into his office and update my blog.  Hey, I’m just saying!)

 

Ultimately, I don’t have an answer.  I know I can’t have it both ways.  On the one hand, I don’t miss the “Machine,” but on the other, this tall stuff has got to go!  I heard him say gas is so high there’s barely enough for the cars.  I wouldn’t necessarily be a big fan of adding additional pets to the family anytime soon, but maybe they need to look into getting some goats.  Don’t laugh.  I’m flexible.

 

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I Can Hearz Beethoven

It seems that dogs, and pets in general these days, are being bombarded with all sorts of sounds from just about every imaginable direction.  Cell phones ring, surround systems blare and mowers, trash trucks and food processors roar.  According to a recent Newsday article , this wall of sound can result in physical and psychological problems (that sure explains a lot). 

 

But when it comes to soothing the beast, savage or otherwise, it would seem classical music is the way to go.  So say Susan Wagner and Joshua Leeds, authors of the book Through a Dog’s Ear: Using Sound to Improve the Health & Behavior of Your Canine Companion.  It makes sense when you think about it.  Rock, Jazz and Heavy Metal have all been shown to agitate and nervously excite most dogs.  Classical music, on the other hand, calms and relaxes dogs of every shape, size and breed. 

 

Susan and Joshua have created “intentional” classical music just for this purpose.  It often involves “lower tones, slower tempos, simplified structure and solo instruments.”  This combination, they say, relaxes dogs’ heart rates, calms brain waves and significantly lowers stress levels. 

 

With my 2nd birthday a little more than a month away, I know what’s going to be at the top of my wish list! 

   

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Let Sleeping Dogs Lie

One of my humans once said that “under no circumstance will a dog sleep in my bed.”  He’s never admitted it, but he had preconceived notions of friends and acquaintances who allowed this.  If joining them for dinner, he would carefully inspect plates, drinking glasses and utensils for stray hairs.  And he couldn’t help but obsess over the thousands of hidden hairs that were surely on the furniture and in the carpet (not to mention the fear of sitting in a spot where, at one time, there might have been an “accident”). 

 

He’d wonder why some people just didn’t understand that, when he visited, there was no desire to become best friends with their mutt.  “Why don’t they chain this thing up or shut him in a spare room,” he’d ask himself.  Dog tongue, or nose, or paws, or hair, meant one thing.  Dog germs! 

 

It’s funny how humans form opinions on certain things despite never having experienced them first hand.  Like that toddler in the store who seems to be deliberately pressing your buttons as she’s screaming to get her way.  Her mother doesn’t even seem to notice, meanwhile, when all you can think about is, “If that were my kid, she would NOT be acting like this in public.”  And then you have a kid of your own and soon familiarize yourself with a concept called “picking your battles.”

 

You might say that, under our roof, the tables have been turned a bit.  My human has me to contend with now.  It would seem dogs are viewed in a somewhat different light these days.  Imagine, with actual experience and interaction comes tolerance and wisdom.  The guard is down and the prejudices have disappeared (at least the pet-related ones). 

 

No need to guess where I sleep most nights. 

 

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Can I Come?

If you’re a human, you know all too well how busy the weekend can be.  In fact, it’s not unusual for the typical weekend to outpace the work week – what with it’s ball practice, lawn mowing, errand running tasks that beckon.

 

May I beseech you then please not to abandon your pet?  It’s easy to do.  We understand.  Really.  But, particularly for dogs, our need for love and attention is right up there with our need for a roof over our heads, food in our stomachs, chew toys in our mouths and green grass to – well, you know what I mean. 

 

Yes, I know, we can seem a little needy at times, but it’s only because we miss you.  We miss smelling you and hearing your familiar, calming voice.  We miss playing with you in the yard and chasing each other around the house.   

 

But most of all, we miss showing you unconditional love.  It’s what makes us tick.  Despite the mood you’re in, despite the day you’ve had, despite the short tone you may’ve spoken to us in earlier, we miss loving you at every opportunity. 

 

We even miss holding you.  Yes, you read that right.  We miss holding YOU.  If you’ve ever had a two-year-old, arms raised, look up at you and gently say the words, “Hold you,” then you know what I mean.   

 

So, the next time you find your weekend full of activity and non-stop madness, take a deep breath and consider Max or Molly for just a moment.  Think about whether you might be able to include them in what you’re doing.  Your dog will be thrilled to know he or she is loved enough just to be allowed to tag along. 

 

After a few tries at this you might just find your family outings all the more memorable when the dog that loves you more than life itself realizes you feel the same way. 

 

 

  “Don’t worry kid.  They’ll be back.” 

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